What is a restraining order, and how do you get one?

A restraining order, called a protective order or order of protection in many states, is a civil court order restricting a person's conduct toward you: typically prohibiting contact, requiring them to stay a set distance from your home, workplace, and school, and sometimes ordering them out of a shared residence or requiring surrender of firearms. Orders come in categories, with domestic violence orders available against family, household members, and intimate partners, and civil harassment or stalking orders available against others, each with its own standard and forms.

The process usually has two stages. A temporary or emergency order can be granted the same day on your petition alone, without the other party present, if the judge finds a credible immediate risk. It lasts until a full hearing, generally within a few weeks, where both parties can appear, present evidence, and testify, after which the court decides whether to issue a longer order, commonly one to five years and in some states permanent. Filing is free for domestic violence orders in every state, courthouse self-help centers and domestic violence advocates assist with the forms, and a lawyer is not required though one helps at the contested hearing.

Two things to understand about how they work. An order is enforced by police, and violating it is a criminal offense, typically a misdemeanor and a felony for repeat violations, which is what gives the paper its force; it does not physically stop anyone, so a safety plan and documentation of every violation matter alongside it. And orders are entered into a national database and are enforceable across state lines under federal law. If you are in immediate danger, call 911; for planning and help with the process, the National Domestic Violence Hotline operates around the clock.