Who pays on a first date?

The cleanest modern rule: whoever proposed the date offers to pay, since they picked the place and set the plan. The other person makes a genuine offer to split, not the theatrical wallet-reach, an actual offer. From there, either outcome is fine: the inviter insists and pays, or you split. Total elapsed negotiation should be five seconds, because the check fumble is the only universally unattractive move available.

Surveys keep finding a majority still expects men to pay in heterosexual dating, while splitting keeps rising, especially among younger daters, and same-sex couples default to the inviter rule without drama, which rather proves it works. If the payment moment matters to you as a signal, notice what happened and factor it in privately; litigating it at the table is a second date repellent.

Easiest preemption: pick a low-stakes first date, coffee or drinks, where the entire question costs twelve dollars.