How do you make small talk without dying inside?

The evidence-backed cheat code is asking questions, particularly follow-up questions. Harvard research on thousands of conversations found people who ask more questions are consistently better liked, and follow-ups, tell me more about that, how did that go, outperform everything, because they prove you actually listened. Most people love talking about themselves and walk away rating the conversation, and you, highly.

Skip the interrogation feel by trading: answer your own question briefly after they do, then hand it back. Upgrade openers from what do you do to something with texture, working on anything fun lately, how do you know the host, best thing you have eaten recently. Comment on the shared situation; it is shared for a reason.

And take comfort in the spotlight effect, the documented finding that people drastically overestimate how much others notice their awkwardness. Your fumbled exit line was forgotten before you reached the snack table.